Do I Know You
by Emorull
Summary: Sequel to Do You Know Me? A ReaderxLoki tale. More Shifters and Asgard and hopefully a happy ending for Loki and our Reader?
1. Alexithymia

Okay, this is the sequel to Do You Know Me. For people who haven't read Do You Know Me you have two options, okay, three.

1\. Don't Read This

2\. Go Read Do You Know Me

3\. Go Down A Little And Read The Quick, Quick Summary/Recap

So, recap summary thing. This is very short and I am not going to explain or say why, just this happen.

Loki wanders into an apartment wounded, your apartment. You patch him up and he sticks around while you heal, you guys get pretty close during the near year spent together because you don't kick him out after he heals. One night you guys go out for dinner but Loki gets into a bar fight because of reasons that don't matter in the long run I guess. You, Name, decide if he can fight he can go.

So you kick him out.

Loki comes back later but you're gone, he teams up with Avengers to investigate Shifter(Shapeshifter, one animal form, one human basically) rumors/problems and keep an eye out for Name. Goes to island, get chased by Shifter, guess what, you are a Shifter. Guess what again! You are an All Face(anything shapeshifter, so more powerful shifter). Also, you have Bonded with Loki, and convince Fury to clear Loki who has been traveling as like a criminal working for the Government with a Big Brother Thunder God deal, to clear Loki and release him to you in return you help make peace talk between humans and Shifters before a potential war breaks out. Next you and Loki pretty much travel the globe, you buy a castle, settle down pretty much.

But everyone wants you to get involved with the peace insists, you can't say no to him and go. A human ticks off some Shifters and a brawl starts, buildings old and made of stone and starts collapsing, you save Loki but get crushed to death.

* * *

"Loki." Thor speaks softly, he rarely speaks softly. "The Vavatonem wish to speak with you." His eyes for once are not bold, but are downcast, unsure.

I bite my lip, considering him and those fools. "What do they need me for?" I refuse to be ashamed of how absolutely ragged my voice is.

It's perfectly appropriate considering everything.

Thor shifts awkwardly, trying to find the way to word it best. "You were present brother and they have questions." He shuffles his feet. "I trie-"

"Quiet Thor, I will speak with them." I get up, hair rustling all wild like. I straighten out a little and then stop with a sigh. Pointless. I can have every right to be bedraggled like this.

Thor just moves out of the way silently, he never was any good with words. I hesitate momentarily, I know not where the Vavatonem are. Then I sigh again, magic, I had almost forgotten I had it. I had no reason to use it, Name took care of me and everything around me. I suppose that was normal to her, to dote on her Mate.

A simple muttered spell and I know where the Vavatonem are and I can't stop this sigh either. A sigh of relief that I don't have to go _there_ again.

-(0)-

I push the double doors open. I want to slam them open but… I am too tired, a few Shifters rise when I enter but sit again at my glare.

They respect Name, their precious All Face, and apparently I am entitled to that respect. Here I am respected just for being her Mate. Funny.

"Loki." The old crone acknowledges me, I like her, she cuts to the chase. No flowery words, no tricks. Little to no emotion as well. "Sit please."

I do. "What do you want Cheveyo? I see little point in this."

"There is, you were there in the last moments. You saw, you heard, please. Tell us what you saw."

"Others saw." I mutter.

She cracks a grin of shockingly white teeth. "Not nearly as much as you."

I swallow. "Name found me under the balcony," That stupid stone, that stupid ancient, stone, "She wanted me to leave, we argued. She was saying something but stopped," Her eyes had gone so wide and her mouth dropped open, shocked. Then she had looked at me and I just knew it was bad, "She wanted me to run and she threw me out into the open…" I could feel the bruises blooming from where she had grabbed me.

"Do you know why?" A few of the Vavatonem glare at her, Cheveyo cares little. "As an All Face she has adequate strength to remove you both simultaneously. "

One, an old man farther down the table shakes his head. "No, I saw Cheveyo….. The balcony was on them, she is fast but not that fast. She could not have saved them both as she is." He frowns thoughtfully, "When she has achieved large shifts she has mentioned she is not quite conscious, perhaps she was concerned that she would be unable to protect him then? She wasn't sure she could out run the collapse or stop it. She did the first thing she thought of."

Cheveyo nods, turning to me. I frown at the expectant look on her old face, "You know the rest." I don't try to keep the bitterness out of my voice. They can know exactly how I feel about this.

"We do know what happened," She shifts in her chair, I blink, she does not strike me as the kind to show unease so openly. She sighs, turning to the other Vavatonem. "We apologize for your lost , we have lost as well today, not as you have, but losses all the same. The Humans are eager to make treaties now." She offers, like it matters anymore. Name didn't care. I suppose though, it is good, something came out of this. "I do not think she realized how she tore through the crowds looking for you, the Humans are under the impression that we all have her strength."

"Cheveyo?" She raises a brow, curious. "Is that all?"

"Yes Loki, that is all." The rest of the Vavatonem murmur quietly, nodding.

That is all and I leave.

-(0)-

Thor attempts to stay with me, in my room but he can't stay still, he can't be quiet like me. And he can't stand to bother me right now either.

I understand, he was made to move, odd. So was Name, but she could stay still as well, like air. I curl up on the couch, the bed looks too big, and its white and empty.

Cold.

I blink rapidly, I don't want to cry anymore, it makes my head throb and my eyes red and burning. I don't like the hotness of the tears as they trace down my face, soaking the pillow. Odd, they're hot on my skin and cold on the coarse cloth. I shut my eyes, but they leak out anyways.

Name had cried once, ragged tears, and she had born them silently. I rub fiercely at the offending tears, Name was stupid. Crying was meant to be loud on someone's shoulder as they tell you everything will be alright.

I twisted awkwardly, my mouth pressing into my scapula. Crying is frustrating.

I glare angrily at the ceiling, it's too quiet in here and my thoughts are so loud.

I made her come here, I pushed, I argued, if I hadn't argued with her she'd be here right now. She'd be poking my side and playing with my hands as she tries to talk with me. She's not though, and I can't help but think of Neha.

She went insane when her Mate died, why can't I?

Name would be mad. That's why.

-(0)-

Maybe flowers are a Shifter thing because I have a miniature garden outside my door the next morning. I suppose no one wanted to wake me just to give me flowers because someone died. Name died.

I sigh, standing there for a bit, just staring blankly at the flowers all perfectly arranged in their little vases. A simple spell and the flowers float in the room, settling in silently.

Roses and Baby's Breath, green leafs and white flowers.

Thor comes by later, brings me out to eat.

He insists food will be good, but I don't really want to leave. I want to stay in my room and glare at the ceiling.

But omelets aren't bad, I rather like them, the sour cream and black olives. Name would never eat something like that, she doesn't like olives or sour cream. She would like the bacon. Thor silently eats his three plates.

"What Thor?"

He shifts. "Brother… The Shifters have.. Found her. They have been clearing the rubble. I thought you may.. Want to see?" He looks up at me with those blue sky eyes and that worried look. "I have not seen her… But I was told she.. Is not in one piece.."

"Oh." I blink rapidly, my teeth clench involuntarily. "I.. I don't know.." I hate how my voice wavers, how unsure it is. "I should want to, yes?"

"I can't say Brother, if it were Jane… I think I'd want to see."

"I suppose I should, I won't be able to see her when they put her into a casket after all." I try to sound indifferent and aloof. Thor frowns, "So, um, now?"

"Now." He agrees, and we leave.

* * *

So, thanks for reading review or don't. Up to you. Reviews encourage faster updates though :) I hope you enjoy.

Also, there are probably mistakes. I make mistakes and have no one to help with editing. When I edit we suffer large writing casualties, up to 5k words a blow.


	2. Brontide

I can remember when we did things together, Thor and I. It feels like it was so long ago, but it's not. I know its not. Thor pauses outside that foolish courtyard. "You could come back to Asgard.. Mother wants to see you Loki."

"Hmm." I'm not really paying attention anymore, I'm eyeing all the people, the Shifters moving stone, their bowed backs and somber expression. So many have tears dried on their faces, they look at me and then over to where she must be, all silence. All sadness, as I get closer I know exactly where she is, they all stay a way from there and a canopy has been set up over the area so the sun can't touch her.

I drag my feet a little, I can see the dried red everywhere, that's when I realize that Thor truly has not seen her before this.

He wouldn't let me see her like this, I can't find her face, it's all pieces of bone and so much red, flesh and skin all crushed against the stone floor.

It's not her, Name isn't this red smeared, tangled, dried to the ground, mess. It is what's left of her and its not her, something in me crumbles, tears stream down my face and Thor stands stock still, shocked at how destroyed she is. How completely ruined she is.

I don't know what to say so I just sit down, staring at her. I know how I must look sitting here, hands holding my head and my hair everywhere as I just stare at her with wide eyes. At least I stopped crying.

That's something after all. Thor stands there for some time but eventually leaves, but not before wrapping his cloak around me and no doubt giving the Shifters a warning glare before leaving.

I sag in on myself the longer I sit here, like an old building that's no one tries to maintain anymore. Shifters leave me alone, simply removing more of the destruction. I listen to the near silent whispers they exchange, 'such a shame, so much history here'

'She was so much better now'

'a shame, so much potential'

'Poor thing'

Stark stops by, he stands there, opening and shutting his mouth a few times until he settles for just squeezing my shoulder. I see Natasha watching from a distance, I then realize she has been there before I came. I don't know how I missed her red hair.

Barton walks around a wall, sees me, and turns around. The Captain is behind him, he stands there for a bit, staring at me and Name before leaving as well.

It is, oddly, Fury's visit I like best. He just drops a pack of papers in my lap. "I figured you'd want to know what started this, so far it's been narrowed down to a radical clan of Shifters who got ticked off by a human, brawl spread. Seems this place is pretty delicate and couldn't take the stress. You saw the rest." He shifts his feet. "I would say I'm sorry for you, but I'm not. I am sorry for her. Seems I made an agreement with Name, peace agreements went through, you've been given a clear record as she demanded."

I blink at that, he must have pulled quite a few strings to do that. For Name.

I sigh. "Thank you Director."

"Yeah." He shifts a foot, "So, one of my Agents wants to speak with you and I figured you'd want to prep a little." I turn my head towards him, eyebrows raised. "Yes, him. He's weaponless so I wouldn't be too concerned."

I turn back to Name and he leaves.

-(0)-

I am slightly curious as to why they aren't moving Name, then again… Most of her is plastered to the ground. I wonder, how do you move a person who's stuck to the ground like her? How morbid, so morbid I almost don't notice him. He hovers behind me, two coffees in hand and a placid expression.

"I suppose you've never had coffee before?" He hands me the plastic cup. "It's an acquired taste, but I think you'll like it."

I wrapped my palms around the paper cup, it's hot and smells strongly. "Why are you here."

He sighs. "If this was a fairytale I would say this all drove me to such compassion that I feel bad for you, but I think I wanted to see you miserable."

"Hmm." I take a sip of it. It's hot and burns my mouth most painfully, leaving that odd, prickly feeling. It makes me glad I can't really taste it because what I can is appalling. "Bitter."

"Yes." He settles down next to me. "I suppose I am. So is coffee."

I smile softly at his dry humor, intentional or not. I shift the cup in my hand slowly. "So."

He takes a long sip. "So, what are your plans?"

"Thor offered to take me back to Asgard." I murmur quietly, I've never spoken to people I failed to kill before.

"You should take it, just because your record is good now doesn't mean people are going to like you." He frowns. "Hmm, but didn't you and Name have a house?" He asks in a way, with that dry, dry tone that tells me he is absolutely certain of the house, its location, and has memorized it's layout.

"…Yes." How does he know? Then again, he is an Agent of Shield. And Name wasn't very concerned with them. Or anyone or anything.

"I imagine you can stay there, however I'd be careful. The world's… Mildly interested into beating the shit out of you. Besides finances."

"I imagine." He gets up, "You were right."

"Mm?"

"I lack conviction."

-(0)-

Chandra shows up the next morning, her eyes are swollen and red, she's always been severe but now she's almost emotionless.

She seems a little angry with me even, I suppose I deserve it. Name wouldn't have been there if I hadn't been, she wouldn't have been there if I had just stopped arguing, she would have left.

So, its my fault logically. I know her anger, contain as it is, is completely reasonable. But it's irritating, if she hates me I want her to say it out loud and to my face.

No more of those hard, accusing eyes and tight words. No more of her insistent help. I knew she didn't like me, I 'm Name's Mate, Chandra wanted to be that. But she seems to be the type that must be fully justified before lashing out, she couldn't do that because she never was with Name in anything more than a platonic level. And she can't now for the same reason.

I know, Shaelyn mentioned it more than once.

So I can't help but be a little confused and irritated at how Chandra's helping me, she's all stiff and determined, like she can't wait to get this done and over with. So why doesn't she? No one but Thor would try to stop her from forcing me on a plane and dumping me in the castle.

But she doesn't, I know she's waiting for me to say it, bring me home Chandra. I don't want to be here anymore.

I glance at her in the corner, all tense and tight faced on her chair, hands folded in her lap, she's the perfect image of polite fury. I suppose, I did leave her in here to stew for an hour while I wandered the halls. "Chandra." I whisper softly, sitting up on the couch. "Would you like to see Name?"

She blinks and her mouth slips open a little before she remembers to shut it. "I.. No, I don't." She dips her head like she's ashamed. "I was informed.. Of her current state, I handle a great deal of her paperwork. They thought it was appropriate to tell me shortly after it-She died."

Chandra spits out the last bit with a little defiance, like Name being dead isn't going to cow her. Suddenly, Chandra's golden eyes relax with a contemplativeness that I don't like. "I am aware you're brother wishes to bring you to Asgard; however, Stark, well, Virginia Potts, offered you a floor in the Stark Towers, it is a reasonable idea." Virginia? Chandra must not notice my confusion, Stark has a woman? He must otherwise this 'Virginia' couldn't make such an offer. "I think it would be wise as Name has no will.. Her belongings will be liquefied and given to the next All-Face. You have no money, you can't access her funds, you'll lose the castle."

She smirks at my frown. "Did you think she was born into money? She ran away from her family, she did have a few jobs, but they were short lived and didn't make that kind of money. The money she had is because of an All Face who long ago decided to start an account that would provide funding for the other All-Faces, it is supervised by the Vavatonem."

"Oh, I suppose I should accept the offer?" I purse my lips tersely, I don't really.. Know how I should feel?

"Yes, yes, you should." She pulls a bag into her lap, "I think you may want these, Shaelyn helped." She gives it to me gingerly, "Name was sentimental at times, she kept a box of ticket stubs and such from your trips, two albums of pressed flowers, and some other bits and pieces that Shaelyn didn't explain. Also, I went through her bags while you were out." She hands me a leather bound book and Name's phone. I stare at Chandra, why is she giving me her book? It's her book certainly, she was reading it when I came back.

"Name's journal, and I know she has more picture on that phone than I knew she was capable of taking, she hated taking pictures and posing for them." Journal? Chandra was reading her journal? I swallow uneasily, I want to read it. But I won't, that'd be an invasion of privacy, you don't disturb the dead.

"Chandra…." She raises a thin brow. "Thank you." I finish. She read Name's journal.

"Yes, so, I have to admit I assumed you would take Virginia up on the offer and the flight is tomorrow. Shaelyn is taking care of the castle and plans on sending you whatever she thinks is of relevant importance, last I heard Messina was going to help her." She adds thoughtfully.

I nod tiredly, I don't really want to leave but… What can I do here?

* * *

Thanks for reading this chapter :)


	3. Commensal

Apparently sympathy does not open all doors. I know Barton wants to shoot me, but now he knows he'd look quite foolish after everything and I and the Avengers are on decent, awkward, but decent terms.

Stark doesn't see where that means I get to move in however. Chandra crosses her arms placidly. "Where is Virginia, I arranged this with _her_."

"Wha-Jarvis, call Pepper. Now."

This Virginia who is also Pepper is not amused. "I thought it was okay, he's obviously a good person now. He worked with you, and the Avengers are co-workers, _and_ the Avengers live with you. So Loki gets to live here, plus it's not like you're going to miss a floor."

Tony whines. "But Peps-"

"He's going to be _homeless_ , he can't keep their house."

"It's a castle." I interject without much thought. That does make me a little sad, but honestly I remember more of Name, books, and lazy afternoons than the actual place.

I only have the books now. The afternoons are lonely, not lazy, and Name is _dead._ I can feel bitterness pull the corners of my mouth downwards.

"Yeah, he has a castle, or he can go to Asgard!" Tony exclaims, waving his arms and one oddly animated toaster.

"Tony." Her voice is hard. " _Why_ can't he stay here?" It's a challenge, the classic 'give me one good reason'. Stark sighs.

"Which floor?"

"7th down."

"I was going to make Bruce a new lab on that floor!"

"I know, Bruce told me to stop you from 'spending ludicrous amounts of money at the tip of a hat'. Or something like that."

"Fine." He snaps, the call ends. I'm slightly curious because Name's phone calls were nothing like that. She would call from the store, asking questions and slowly describing everything to me. Then we would talk about something else until I could hear her in the checkout with all the little beeps and such, and then she would exit the store, I could always hear the whoosh of the doors, and apologize because she didn't want to talk and drive. Tony smiles apologetically at me. "Not that I have any problems with you, Lokes, I just was not expecting this. At all."

"I was informed yesterday." I add stiffly.

He smirks, "Man, those lady Shifters like to tell you what to do, hmm?"

I can't help but smile ruefully, "Yes, they do."

-(0)-

I have learned that Stark can not cook, nor does he understand cooking. I think it's a little funny that he can build such complex technology but ramen noodles defeat him.

Steve owns the kitchen, he doesn't like my intrusive attempts to cook. I couldn't help it, Name left the cooking up to me, it's a habit. Also shouldn't I do something nice for them all? Common courtesy or whatever? But taking away Steve's domain would go against that idea, therefore I have resigned myself to reading.

And more reading, I also solve Banner's puzzles when he leaves them sitting around. He does not appreciate my brilliance.

And Name's things sit in the corner of my room. I honestly don't need a whole floor, besides, Chandra stays here as well. She disappears at random though, Virginia explains that Chandra is a busy person and she has many business trips. I want to know when Virginia became an expert on Chandra. I also want to know why they sit together, drinking coffee and flipping through papers, clicking away on their computers, and sipping coffees. In fact, they are suppose to take turns buying coffees for one another but I know that Chandra just buys before Virginia has a chance because Virginia is quite loud in her scolding. I only know because they generally are in the conference room on my floor. I'm almost always in the library which shares a wall with the conference room.

I'll admit I looked at the flower albums. And the ticket stubs, I use one as a bookmark actually.

It's so odd, I mean, she disappeared once and I guess some part of me just thinks she'll pop up again. Don't they call this shock? Or is it denial? I don't know and I find I do not care. I just know she's gone because I'm not nestled up against her while I read or trying to make her eat salad, no, instead I tell Stark to eat his vegetables. He hates that. She is not tugging my wrist or playing with my hair, she is not there when I go to sleep, she isn't breathing right next to me, I can't feel her. I can't feel her thin fingers, her arms, or _her_.

She's not here. I toss the book on the floor, I'm sick of reading. I've been doing to much reading lately.

There is one book I want to read, it's leather bound, a journal. Name's, and I can only bring myself it look in the direction of the thing.

-(0)-

Shaelyn has begun to send what she's proclaimed to be 'mine' from the castle. Which seems to be most everything, Chandra simply sighs going through the boxes of pure stuff Shaelyn sent. She says Shaelyn is a bit of hoarder, unable to throw things away because she's afraid they'll be wanted one day.

Stark is not happy. "I didn't let you live here to use my place as storage!" He exclaims taking an angry swig of suspicious looking coffee. I call it coffee because it reeks like it and is a brown shade, I call it suspicious because he begins to talk oddly and become irrational after drinking it. It also is not opaque like coffee, I can see through it better then the stuff Chandra and Virginia drink. Chandra just glares at him and keeps moving boxes to my floor. It's also suspicious because Chandra hates alcohol and Chandra keeps glaring at his coffee likes it's an abomination.

She has an odd dislike of Stark, she did not mind Name nor Shaelyn's unruly behavior..

Thor sets down his mini-mountain of cardboard boxes, "Brother, we could simply bring these to Asgard. Mother…" He shuffles his feet, "I may have told her you would be coming back to Asgard and she may or may not have prepared a wing in the palalce for you?"

I don't even understand why, but I'm mad, it makes me mad. Everyone else is doing something, Chandra made arrangements, Thor made plans, Stark agreed.

What did I do? Did anyone ask me?

No, and even though a little part of me whispers I wouldn't have done anything, that they did the right thing, I'm furious.

I can just feel the scowl creeping into my face, how my lips curl. Thor frowns as well, he knows me, he knows me a little too well.

"I don't need any of this." I snarl. "I can just get rid of it." My magic is already stirring, the boxes shudder and I can hear the objects in them rattling.

Stark blinks. "No, nah," He rubs his neck, "I could just get you a storage unit-"

"No." I spat at him, "I've clearly over stayed my welcome. Thor, we are going to Asgard tonight. I have no reason to stay in Midgard."

"Brother-" I turn on him with an angry glare, "Very well." He sets his boxes down. "I well bring the others back down."

"Good."

Chandra cocks her head to the side, studying me. "You know…" She trails off slowly, blinking a few times so that the gold of her eyes flickers in and out. "Just don't do something you'll regret Loki, Name's gone," She walks over, leaning in close so no one else can hear, "They're sympathetic, you loss someone close to you, this is the perfect opportunity to fix everything, it can be just like it was before you screwed up, okay?" She squeezes my shoulder, "Do what's best for you in the long run, not what feels best right now. Oh, would you like to get updates on everything here? They haven't buried Name yet." Her mouth twitches, she's confused. And her eyes relax, like she's just a little hopeful. "I can keep you informed."

I nod, let out a long breath, my magic stills. "Yes. Yes, that'd be good."

* * *

Thank you for reading! I dedicate this chapter to Insanity runs through my vains, thank you for all the reviews! I enjoyed reading your feedback :)


	4. Dapifer

Mother is thrilled, Odin is not, to have me back. I know because she hugs me immediately and drags me through the palace, exclaiming to anyone we encounter 'Loki's back!'. Odin simply nods, not bothering with anymore and leaving. I can't help but smile a little, she's so happy and I just can't stop the warmth bubbling up in me in response.

She shows me my rooms, I blink in surprise. "These are.. My old rooms?"

"Yes." She smiles. "I refused to let Odin touch them, I knew you'd come back." She squeezes my hand. "I always knew."

"Oh." I can't help the little pleased smile.

"Mmm." She smiles, but then that smile sort of drops off her face, and she takes my hands in between hers, "Loki, Thor mentioned… That Name.."

"She is dead."

I don't know why, I don't know if I make some expression or if it's my tone, but Frigga suddenly sweeps me into a hug, her chin presses against my shoulder hard, "I'm so sorry dear, Thor spoke of.. the accident… Do you want to talk about it?"

T-talk? About what? How I was worthless, how she is plastered to the stone floor, how I just don't know? How I'm angry and doing nothing at all? "N-No, it's nothing."

She holds me out in front herself, staring me down. "Nothing? As I understand you two were living together for the second time and are 'Mates'? Besides, I raised you Loki, you clearly care about her. Please don't ruin the garden, I'm quite attached to the roses that the ambassador gave us."

"I-" I flush a little, glancing at our feet, "I didn't tear up the garden mother… That was Thor."

"He said that so Odin wouldn't be angry with you, everyone knows it was you. All because your favorite horse died. Name isn't a horse, she's a person… So will you burn down the forest? Tear up the library, destroy the throne room? Odin will not be pleased."

"Odin is rarely pleased." I hate how my voice gains that snuffy, watery quality and I blink a few times.

Frigga just gives that smile frown and drags me into my bedroom. "Loki, Odin is quite proud of you, in fact… I believe he found your 'Name' quite impressive, I think…The inane amount of raw energy contained in her and the fact that she wasn't insane as she should be was what truly impressed him."

"Hmm?" She smiles. I never… noticed an unusual amounts of energy.

"Oh Loki, don't be ashamed. It's very hard to see energy in another's core." She sighs, "I almost didn't notice, I only caught on because your Father was so focused."

"But.. It was her own?"

"Yes." She blinks at me.

I shake my head, "I understand that large amounts of foreign energy can drive someone insane, but if it is her own it should not accumulate to levels she can't handle. For her to go mad on her own power there would have to be a foreign force. " She certainly is no seer.

"Yes, with magical energy, however.. That was not magic, it was just energy, Odin actually went through a few books." She giggled. "You're father was a little irritated that he didn't understand her, somehow Shifters had escaped his notice all these years."

"Yes, we did pay so much attention to Midgard in the past." I add dryly.

She smiles, "Yes, now you get some rest, you look exhausted."

Name is probably exhausted too. I'll never know.

-(0)-

Dinner has never been more awkward. Odin attempts small talk and Thor sits like a hulking and nervous mountain of muscle, leather, and metal.

I think I emulated the stereotypical, despondent, taciturn teenage girl marvelously. Odin has no clue how to handle teenage Midgardian girls. At all. Frigga gives me a very disappointed look over the food. I shrug.

Name would have thought it funny. Name would have done it herself.

Name thought lots of things were funny. She would eat the meat first, than the vegtables, tear the crust off her bread and drag it through the juices and butters. She'd eat the soft parts of the bread last, complaining about how it isn't white and there's grain chunks in it. Then some fruit perhaps, she wouldn't really know how to eat it so most likely she'd take slow bites before she became confident and would chew through it's soft flesh in that predatorily, tearing and gnashing of teeth that she always did.

Funny, it never seemed threatening to me, but now as I think about it, how she hurled me like a discus out from under the falling stone, how she chased me through the jungle, how she shifted into that thing, how her flesh had stretch thin, tearing and gushing with blood as more flesh grew, and skin grew, scales, fur, feathers, and how she held me in her hands and watched me with those huge eyes as she grew. Wild eyes, I had been scared in that moment when she had shifted on the island, looking into those eyes. Eyes for sharp vision, eyes of a predator, wild and unfocused but looking straight at me, her maw had hung open a little and I could see the teeth.

But then the fear had vanished the moment she started to sway, it had been replaced with concern. Now I wonder, if she ever put those teeth and claws to use.

I'd know if I'd read her journal, but.. It feels wrong just looking at that leather bound thing feels like a terrible sin. I can't read it, for the first time in my life, I'm not doing something because it feels wrong.

-(0)-

Frigga walks with me to the door of my room. "Loki.." I pause from my side of the door, holding it open. "Are you happy?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Mmm, 'Yes, Mother' means 'I'm lying and I'm only doing it because I don't want to trouble you'; the last time I was told 'Yes Mother'… I didn't see you again until Thor brought you back in chains."

I blink, "Then I meant to say 'Yes, Frigga'."

-(0)-

Thankfully I still have the ability to avoid Thor, Odin does not look twice at me. I care little, I have discovered the art rooms of my childhood with its pencils and papers.

I draw her, Name, over and over, I suppose some desperate part of me thinks I won't forget her face if I draw it enough times. I will though, the pictures in her phone are of me and me only, sometimes I'll find a murky reflection of her in a window or something slightly reflective in the picture.

That's not enough for remembering. But I have her captured in the smooth, grey lines on these papers. However, these rooms are dusty and nothing is organized, warriors have no use for art rooms. No use for how I catch the shape of her eyes, the strength of her jaws and how her teeth glint sharply, how her lips curl in that way only Name's do.

No, I suppose they have no use for preserving the faces of the ones they can simply protect.

* * *

Thank you for reading this :) Feedback is always appreciated!


	5. Eccedentesiast

Thor return from Midgard today with one letter from Shaelyn and another from Chandra.

Shaelyn has terrible handwriting, the letters grow and shrink so much I wonder if she is actually trying to make her writing look like waves, knowing as little of Shaelyn as I do, she probably is. She asks how I am doing, how is Asgard, do I like Asgard? Do I want the furniture or anything she didn't send from the castle? She has finally found a way to send the fish. She doesn't think I want the fish though and asks if she can have them.

I write back that I am fine, Asgard is fine, and that she can have the fish and I want nothing more from the castle.

Chandra sent an envelope that contains what appears to be the newsletter for Shifters and then a letter of her own.

The Newsletter celebrates the treaties and produces a short, sad, and near pictureless article for Name. Who she was, how old, they mention me briefly, how she died. They barely touch her, other than that she was a good person and a strong All Face, which makes me wonder what All Faces normally do as she did little, and how she died defending her Mate. They have a single picture of her, she must be seventeen in it.

But she looks all wrong, her hair is not (h/c), her eyes have a harsh quality to them and that smile is vicious. Vicious because she flashes her teeth in the picture like she is having fun and promises of wildness and power and winning.

That is not my Name, this odd, bloody red golden haired girl with a black streak dyed through the one side and harsh purple green eyes.

I flip to the obituaries, many dead Shifters are listed with the basics. How old, how they died, who they were, and a small picture.

Name's here too. She looks different again, she's must be sitting in a meeting, I can see the long sleeve of a Vavatonem robe in the corner of the picture.

She looks all solemn with a vicious curl of the lips as she speaks, night black hair cut all short and shaggy with a pale face and light blue eyes. She's cold looking, not the warm Name who wrapped her arm's around me at night.

Not my Name.

Not even the same person. Perhaps not even female.

She's an All Face, a little part of me whispers, she can be anyone, anything, she's something you can't know everything about.

I frown, did I really know her? Does she even have a true form? Probably not, she is everything or something along those lines, yes? She can't have a true form than. I think.

I toss the newsletter on to the floor, switching to the actual letter. Chandra is quite straightforward. How am I, am I okay, do I want to come back, Virginia says I can, also, she is sending the rest of the Castel's things to me whether or not I want it.

Apparently Shaelyn is trying to force Chandra to store it all. Chandra figures a palace has plenty of spare space.

I suppose she is right.

For Chandra I write as short and simple as I can. Send it all, I tell her. I don't mind, thank you for the news. I am fine.

I hope Thor doesn't char these letters by accident, he singed some of the Shifter books while bringing them through the portal. I surprisingly did not have to remind him to be careful again; however, Frigga, while spelling them for protection, has taken a great deal of interest in the books and has been reading them since then. She is an incredibly slow reader.

I sigh, perhaps waiting for Frigga to finish my books is all I have to do anymore.

-(0)-

Frigga spoke with me over breakfast today. She made an odd little noise and flushed like the red pepper Thor brought back form Midgard, and carefully bookmarked her page before setting the volume down, wide open with its pages bared.

"Loki?"

"Mmm?"

She closes the book, re-opens, and closes it half way. "I was reading and well… Ahh.." I raise an eyebrow. "It mentioned the Claim?"

Claim… Claim? Now that I think about it I have no clue what it is. "What of it?" I try not to sound to defensive, I can't help it. Name would just ignore me, start making inhumanly loud noises, if I so much as started talking about love, Mates, or anything about that. At worst she'd flop on top of me, tracing lines over my skin in what she imagined where similar to my Frost Giant markings. She had pestered Thor about that briefly, satisfied with blue skin, red eyes, coldness, and patterns on the skin.

She wanted to be able to tell when I so much as showed a whisper of my Frost Giant form. The idea that she wanted to know without a word from me that I was showing her my other form makes me feel all warm and I'll find myself smiling a little, but then I stop smiling.

Because I remember she never saw, never got to put the information she pulled out of Thor to use. My fault.

Jane gave Thor a book about grieving and losing loved ones. I know because Thor suddenly started using terms far above his level of intelligence. He also left it on a table, Sad Isn't Bad.

A child's book.

Well done Jane, well done.

"Loki? Claim?"

"Mm?" I glance up from my red pepper flake covered plate.

Thor decides to join in. "The Claim."

I smile. "You asked no questions."

"Have you slept with her?" Frigga's voice rises awkwardly. The words rush out of Frigga's mouth so fast I can tell how absolutely embarrassed she is. "The book spoke of Bonds and Mates and how they Claim one another…intimately. I just-"

"No Mother!" Wait, I freeze up. "Sleipnir." She pokes at her food slowly, when rumor had spread through the kingdom that I hadn't just found Sleipner in a wild herd, but birthed him myself Frigga had taken an intense interest in him.

"I was just… Grandchildren Loki." She finishes quietly as she lowers her head over her dinner, mortified.

"I'm sorry." I murmur. Odin frowns.

"I would have like grandchildren, she would have been a good mother." He grumbles before taking a swig of wine. Frigga smiles and nods.

-(0)-

Thor is leaving in a few days, Thor will be on Midgard, where Name is. He's been visiting a lot. I don't know how I feel about that, a little sad, to know I'm not even in the same realm as her anymore.

She's been dead for over a month. Dead. I wonder what they've done to her, have they buried her? No, Shaelyn would tell me. Won't she.. Start to rot? Perhaps they are performing some Shifter ritual.

Maybe they just left her to rot. I frown, no, Chandra wouldn't let them. She'd go pick up the pieces herself and dig the hole with her fingers if she had to. She's loyal to Name, to whatever part of her Chandra fell in love with. I wonder, what was it about Name Chandra loved? Was it that Name was an All Face? Her smile? Or some part I didn't know?

I think it was a part I didn't know, I sketch Name's other faces from the newsletter. It could have been one of these parts of her Chandra fell in love with, that vicious looking slice of teeth, those brutally harsh eyes, she looks like something angry, something determined, a warrior who's soaked in something worse than blood.

I think Chandra would have loved the wildness I see in Name's face in those two pictures, the sever look of her.

I suppose I'll never know. I sigh and go to bed.

* * *

Thank you for reading this, I hope you guys are enjoying it, it's a good thing I wrote it all on the other computer, this one sucks! It's a small laptop and it took a while to get the internet working better, still can't make youtube work :(

I miss youtube! Have a great summer though!


	6. Finifugal

Someone is knocking at my door, why? It's not even light out and I think I'll scare them, a good illusion spell and I look like a terrible cross between a troll and vette.

I swing the door open and step into the light so they can have a good look. "Can I hel-"

"Ast? What happen to your face?" Her hair hangs down and she's in a too small shirt and pants tied with what looks like a rope at the waist, and the most ridiculously amused look on her face.

"Name?" I let the illusion drop, string at her, "I, what, how?" She smiles, her hair's longer and her skin paler, but it's her and I grab her, and she's solid and I press my face into her shoulder and I breathe her in and it's all her. It's her.

She pats my back awkwardly. "You okay?"

"Okay?!" I hold her out in front of me by her shoulders. "Okay?! You! You died! I-You-Dead! Idiot!"

Her face sort of crumples, and that cheerful smile goes away to a lost kind of opening of the mouth. "But I came back, is that no good?"

Hel, I pull her back against me, "No, it's just, you don't die on me again. Clear." She wraps her arms around me tight.

"I don't plan on it Ast." She says it with such a serious tone I know there's more to it than not wanting to die again.

"How though? I saw you-" My eyes narrow, "If you tell me that you faked your death and didn't tell me beforehand I'll kill you myself!"

"No! No," She nuzzles into my hair. "I would never do that to you, I did die but.. You should sit down.. I, I have a little trouble explaining myself."

"Okay." I plop down right there, pulling her with me. "Stop looking so smug and explain to me why you're not dead anymore."

She sits with a sigh. "Um, well.. You know the Instincts?"

I nod, "They're voices in your head, yes."

"It's more than that." She gnaws her lip. "Loki, I'm an Instinct," She taps me on the mouth. "Shh, I'll explain, when I… Died, well, um.. Think of it like my body's a house and I've always just stayed in the control room and locked the door. But Loki, I am an Instinct, there's millions more in me. From what I understand.." She frowns. "All Faces are kind of immortal."

"Immortal?" I feel a little spark of excitement, Name can't die.

She shakes her head. "But we die, it's different Loki, the body never dies, but the person? It's like we're recycled and it's bad. When I died it was like the control room doors were blown off the hinge and… Um, I think that I'm.. The currently dominant Instinct, and I've had so much time in control I've develop a personality, I've become more human like. You know? But Loki?" She grins suddenly.

"Yes?" I whisper, still working processing it all.

"I came back because of you." She smiles so widely I can't help but smile too. "I made it back because of you Ast, the other Instincts just fight, but I had a reason."

"Me." I don't even feel silly as I grin.

"You." She smiles, leaning in to kiss me on the nose, and the top of an eyebrow, my ear, my cheekbone, and then my jaw. I growl and she pecks me on the mouth before going back to feeling my throat with her mouth and her hands tracing patterns on the inside of my arms.

"Wait." I mumble, blushing. "I want to show you something."

She leans back to get a good look at me, "Show me."

I grin, and then she grins and the more we look at one another the bigger our smiles get until Name laughs. "Wait, wait, here. One second." I take a breath, and slowly breath back out. I want to show her before while I can.

She gasps, eyes flickering up and down. "Oh, Loki, Ast." She sounds so proud and I grin sheepishly. "Blue is my favorite color. You're beautiful you idiot."

"Idiot?" I snort indignantly.

"You said you were a monster, do I have to slime you again?"

"No." And she kisses me right on the mouth.

-(0)-

I sigh, laying in between Name and the arm she has wrapped around me protectively. She's still asleep, but I don't mind. I can wait for her to wake up, she's right here and not going anywhere. I push the blanket off me, it's too hot in my bed with her in it and a blanket smothering me as well.

But I guess patience is not something I excel at though because after a bit I get up on my elbows, pressing a few kisses along her throat. She makes a huffy sound and turns away.

"You are awake!" I accuse.

"So?" She mumbles, her voices sleepily quiet and gravelly.

"You were just going to pretend all morning?" I demand, poking her in the cheek. She sticks out her tongue.

"Well, I like it here, why not stay? Mmm?"

"Name." I whisper, going very still.

"Yes." She curls around me. "What is it?"

"How did you come back, how did you get here?" I lay my head against her neck and shoulder, watching her breath. "You said you came back… How? I saw your body."

"Oh." She rubs little circles in my back, "I'm sorry you had to see that." She starts to sit up.

"Don't you try and slip out of this." I push her back down, turning so I can see her face. She narrows her eyes, shifting under me. "Give me details, no, 'Oh, I cam back from the dead and turns out I'm an Instinct. End of story'."

"Fine, you want to know? It hurt, it really hurt and I could feel it, but it's weird because I knew I was in pain, terrible pain but it was sort of just knowing. I could feel myself moving and growing. I was… fighting, just fighting the other Instincts… Fighting and I just sort of woke up, but I wasn't in complete control so when my body was ready I wandered for a while. It was weird and scary because I could see my hand moving but I couldn't feel it and the hand may try to strangle me or tear me up because another Instinct was in control of it." She sighs. "I'm pretty sure I didn't kill anyone, it's kind of hazy."

"And?" She yanks on my hair lightly with this frown on her face, I don't like it.

"You won't like it."

"Tell me." I whisper, she leans in close to hear me, and smiles.

"Odin found me, apparently he was watching me. He realized my corpse was up and about, Chandra didn't tell you my body was missing because she was worried and overall the Shifters were panicked, they thought someone had stolen me but there was nothing to go on, so they kept quiet. They didn't know either." She kisses me on the nose. "I can't quite remember, I was still fighting the Instincts, some days I was more in control than others, he approached me on a bad day and apparently I attacked. All I remember was suddenly the Instincts became unfocused and I came through to Odin underneath my claws, I almost killed him. He and Thor kept checking in after that until I decided I was in control, then I found out what a planner your dad is. I mean, Frigga helped a lot, but it was all Odin on my end." She sighs, grinning all silly.

"Planner?"

"He wanted me to like, present myself to the court and-and all of this stuff, a really big surprise. Actually, that's still a plan, so you need to act really surprised when I pop in….At breakfast… We missed breakfast, didn't we?"

"Breakfast starts in," I pause, using a little magic, Name smiles at the green sparks. "A little more than ten minutes." the smile drops dead off her face.

"I should go than, because it's suppose to be something big and Loki?" She pauses, looking away from me awkwardly.

"Yes?"

"Just.. We're.. Together, right?" She laughs. "I, we never really talked about this."

I frown, that is not my fault. "I tried to-"

"And I wouldn't let you, I know, I'm stupid. But we are?"

I nod. "We had better be together."

She grins, and pushes me off her as she slips out of bed, but not before leaning down and whispering. "Please, just pretend I wasn't here. Big surprise, ok?"

"Alright." I whisper back, I don't know why we're whispering, no one can hear. And I watch her sneak out the door. She's alive.

-(0)-

Ten minutes later and I am in the dining hall, the hall is decorate like a feast is coming and there are nobles everywhere. Like a great celebration is about to happen, a celebration during breakfast. Intriguing. Silly. But Name is alive and I just, I feel so happy.

I try not to seem too happy and smile just a little. "Brother!" Thor grips in me in a hug. "Smile, today is a most joyous day!" He looks thrilled. Happy, for me. "My lady Jane has come to visit." And just how the words slip out, he's practiced saying that. True, I see Jane across the room. She waves. But that's just a lie, Thor's not a good liar.

"Thrilling brother, but such a large feast, should I be expecting an announcement?" I give a wry smile.

He blinks, his mouth screwing up before he slowly says. "Yes, there will be an announcement." And than he turns to Jane and a slow smile breaks across his face. I have to wonder what he's thinking, but he seems good with just standing there and grinning so I make my way up to my seat, to Frigga.

"Mother."

"Loki." She nods with a little smile.

I sit, eyeing the crowd. "A special occasion?"

"Yes." Frigga smiles. "Very special. I hope you enjoy today."

"I suppose I will, Thor and Jane look very happy together, they will be good to one another."

Frigga laughs, "Oh yes, they will." She waves over a servant, "Some water? Wine?"

I smile. "Wine? The warriors must be grumbling."

"Grumble they may, but I want them sober for such a special day." She passes me the water. "I want you sober as well."

"Mother!" I scold. "It's the morning, I do have manners." And I haven't had a drink since meeting Name. Name. I swallow done a stupid grin.

Frigga smiles. "I know, it's just a very special day." And then Odin sits down and gives her an odd look and she quiets herself, I stare out into the crowd mortified. She's acting like an excited schoolgirl. I suppose, Thor and Jane getting married will no doubt get her some grandchildren. Wait, I'll be an uncle? Step-Uncle? What sort of Uncle?

Everyone eventually gets in their seats and quiets down. Odin stands, and the hall silences. He swings out his hand, opening the doors.

"Come forth and make your proposal suitor."

A hooded figure walks out of the doors, and there's whispering, it's not Thor, too slender, not Jane, too tall. Just right for Name, and I frown a little because why in Heimdall's sword is she wearing a cloak?

"Ast." She grins at me, pulling back the hood, and I still can't help but blink, in this light I can see how thin she's become, and she looks so frail, and tired. But she's smiling and happy.

And I smile too. "Stromkarl." She makes a sighing kind of noise that I can easily translate to 'Why do you call me that, it's so stupid, stop it'.

Odin clears his throat, and Name nods like 'Oh, right, formal, people, forgot about them' before speaking. "I, Name, All Face of the Never Ending cycle, One who walks Forever, come before you seeking the hand of Loki." She smiles brightly, and stands there, waiting, and I guess I'm suppose to say something but what do I say? Her smile falters after a while and the hall is painfully quiet. "Ást? What do you say?" She gives a more nervous smile now.

"I say yes." And then I'm pretty sure I would have done something stupid but everything erupt into cheers and people started randomly toasting and eating and some start clambering out of their chairs to dance because musicians started playing and Odin just stares at Name with this exasperated look. I suddenly realized she probably skip a great deal of the formalities.

I'm still surprised Asgardians are willing to celebrate over me. Ah, marriage, of course, there'll be lots of free alcohol, that's what they're really celebrating.

Name runs up the stairs and pulls me out of my chair. "Come on!" And then she drags me off to the hall to a roar of laughter. I probably look like Thor's cape. As soon as we're outside the doors she lets go of my hand and does her strange, wiggly, victory dance with the fist pump and everything. Then she punches me in the shoulder, hard. "God, how dare you make me wait like that!"

"I answered!" I push away her hands as she tries to tickle me.

She catches my one hand. "Yeah." She says it so softly, I smile a little. "Now, this took a long time to figure out, what'd I do. You know, I wanted this to be special and I know you're suppose to get to do one too but that'd wouldn't work so um, yeah." She slips a ring of cool metal down my finger and lets me pull my hand away. "Do you like it?"

And I look down as she puts a ring onto her hand , they're matching, thin black metal things with little gems winking in it. A little rainbow of color. "They're nice."

"Yeah, um, it's a rainbow, you know, because we're diverse and different and.. Okay, I just couldn't pick a color and that metal is really hard to ruin. I wish I could say something romantic but I got confused when the jeweler started talking." She offers a smile. I kiss that dumb smile.

"I still like them," And she grins, and I really like them, even if they are pointless and completely Midgardian, it feels nice.

She rubs my shoulder, before going down my arm, playing with that hand, spinning the ring. "Frigga wants us to get married as soon as possible, but I figured you'd have some input?"

"Yes, soon as possible. I want to get married before Thor does." I never thought that possible, me getting married before the golden boy, but it is. The idea thrills me.

"Oh. Ah, does that give mean a year of waiting? A year is sort of traditional, I think…" She trails off.

"No, how about.." I blink. "Wait, marriage, what all do we have to do to get married?"

"Well, ah, vows, ceremony, rings?" She shrugs. "I haven't been to a wedding since I was a little girl Loki."

"More rings?" I frown.

"Yeah, to mark our marriage. These mean we're suppose to get married." She grins apologetically. "It doesn't have to be anything big Loki."

"You died and came back, I think something big is appropriate." She leans her head against mine. "Demanded in fact."

"So.. Two years?"

"Why do you keep doing that?" I frown.

"Nerves, Ást. Lots of nerves. I got fake married like twenty times in school, but real marriage? Can you stand me for that long?" She laughs nervously, spreading her hands out.

"Yes-"

She waves my words away. "Don't get sappy on me. Thor told me there was eight legged horse, I want to see it now." She pulls away from me, tugging on my hand.

I try to frown, but it is so like Name to do this, "Now?"

"Now."

* * *

So, the end I figure. Not sure. But its the end unless I pick this back up again some day, sorry it got so rushed but I had to finish it before summer was over and I didn't have a whole lot of time to work everthing out.

Actually this took so huge plot changes because I knew I

A. Couldn't finish it in time

B. Might spill into a third fic

C. You might not like it because it's much darker and I was sure I could spin a happy ending out of that bloody mess.\

So I hoped you enjoyed this version, do you think a dark version(like killing babies, trauma, killing, very cruel, Name has killed more than Loki, Thor, and McDonalds combined) would have been better?

Reviews always appreciated !


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